Luminous

 

 

 

What a May. Like really, so many things happened before I even took a second to notice them. There's some pics from my phone but some are from April.

School is over, finally. So many memories and people who were there with me making them will stay in my mind for the rest of my life. Especially our music lessons and our friendgroup are things I'm gonna miss. I just have to say thank you. :) Now I'm getting a little nervous because on thursday I'll finally find out where I'm going to keep studying next fall. I'm actually quite proud of my certificate, average 8.7 and before it was 8.3 so not bad. I started my holiday with a little umm should I say party with my very good friends :D I had a great time :) But on the next day I went to Kuopio to my brother. He needed a babysitter for his 1.2 year old son so he asked me and here I am. It has been a little though at least at the beginning but now I'm learning. It is nice to be here but there's one negative thing - I can't add any of my new photos here to my blog, because they're all in my own computer at home. But I'll post them later.

Lately I've been wondering what are my skills and what do I have to give to the world. What is that one special thing in me that no-one else can replace. Everyone should feel important  but that claims interest, skills and passion to something. Okay I have interest to almost everything but what is that special mission I've been made for? Hopefully I'll know someday.

Final question, where can I find pretty, sensible and sustainable shoes and bag that fit and don't cost million euros? I mean I have searched everywhere but none of those I've found fill my criteria.

Today I apologize for being lazy. Again.

I need to thank for my holiday and time for my friends without disturbing duties. My friends are blessings :)

Have a nice summer everyone, keep working on that tan :)

Almost forgot - A7x in November here in Finland <3

Precious

Happy people are not those who keep faking a smile and pretending poverty, illness, loneliness and suffering don't exist. Happy people are those who are willing to face life as it comes. Happy people cry, happy people scream. But happy people are those, who believe that in the end life is beautiful in all it's forms.

So right now I'm a little unsure, a little sad and a little lost. But definately happy. 

Today I want to thank for music when our own words can't describe how we feel.

Kädet osuu maahan
Ja ensimmäinen ajatus on olla
Nousematta enää koskaan
Luovuttaa suosiolla
Jäisit vaan siihen eikä kukaan tulisi
Tulisi yö ja kasvattaisit juuret maahan
Tuntisit, sen sydän lyö
Olisit puu, olisit jotain oikeaa ja suurta
Olisit vuori joka vavahduttaisi maan kuorta

Heaven wouldn't be 
So high I know 
If the times gone by 
Hadn't been so low 
The best laid plans 
Come apart at the seams 
And shatter all my dreams 

Sometimes I feel like screaming

Riisu kengät, maa jolla seisot on Herran pyhää ja puhdasta maata

wonderful

Fresh

Wow it's spring already.

Hi. My last post was about a month ago and I have no explanations. April is going to be really busy, so it might take awhile for my next post.

Anyway, I'm happy. :) Stressed, but happy. I have wonderful friends and I owe them everything I have, just because they exist.

Today I want to thank for my health. It should definately not be taken for granted. You can lose it anytime now, see. Today I woke up. Some did not. So thank you.

Today I'd like to apologize for not being as hard-working and strict as I should be.

It's so sunny... <3

Glad

Just look at this beauty <3

Thanks dad.

Finally I got my own computer and it's awesome. :) Windows 8 has caused a bit of trouble but I'll learn to love it.

Today I apologize for being so tired.

Today I thank for these two people I was born for. It could've been much worse. They love me and I call them mum and dad. :)

Thrilled

Tried to look sad and suffering in that right one, I'm reading a book for a school project :D

An example of my clear notes for that same school project :D

I was supposed to post a week ago but I've been doing so many kind of things during my holiday, that I haven't really had any time to spend on computer.

 Weather has been beautiful and I've met my friends and relatives. :) My sleeping habbits are fucked up once again. Yesterday morning was sunny and perfect for downhill skiing, so that's what I did. First three hours were nice and I enjoyed it, but then the sky clouded up and it became hard to see the surface. Well, that was nothing but then it started to rain and I left home. I spent the whole night watching movies (movie night, some kind of event for teenagers :D) and I slept from about 6 AM to 2 PM.
Can you believe it, I've almost started doing sports? :D At least I've been jogging and making some random ab workouts lately.

And yea everything has happened but I'm too lazy to write about it. :D Anyway I'm happy. :)

I realized one day, that I've been so wrong for a long time about being personal. I've been a little different and stubborn always. I have thought that  a "normal life" is a wasted life. And I still think so because sure as hell I'm going to be stubborn all my life. But anyway I've thought that if I make reverse decisions than others I'll be happy, strong and independent. That's why I thought that I'm never going to get married. I won't be a mother. I won't settle down, at least before I'm 40. I won't live in Finland all my life. I won't dress as vogue wants me to. I won't work as anything that'll only make me burn out. 

I thought that if I do otherwise than people usually do, I prove that I don't care about their opinions and I make my own decisions. But am I making those decisions actually by myself? If I think everything reverse than others, then their way of thinking still affects me. I realized, that I'm not boring, trapped, resigned or surrendered for the society if I marry the one I love. If I do the same thing as everyone else, it doesn't mean that it's not my own will or that I do it only because everyone else does. 

I still think that people are satisfied with their lives too easily. We should demand more. We all know that usual pattern that most of us follow in their lives; study, graduate, get a job, meet the love of your life, get married, move into a big house in a peaceful neighborhood, have kids, raise them and keep working, wait for death. I hate it. It's wrong. It's not any damn rule you just must obey. Remember, you choose. This way of life is not the only option. The world isn't complete yet, so I'll continue trying my hardest to be the change I want to see in the world. That's why I'll keep making decisions that are different, because that's the only way to change something. But now I know, that I have been too harsh with my definition of a personal human. Get married young or have kids if you want to, I finally understand that it can actually be your own will and make you happy.

I tried to photograph stars but I guess it should be done somewhere more far away from other light

Have a fun weekend. :) I thought that it would be nice to start thanking for things besides apologizing so here we go:

Today I apologize for not taking as much time for relaxing alone as I should.

Today I thank for all my senses, so I can hear the harmonius chords of music, taste the saltiness of seawater, smell all those beautiful flowers of spring, touch the hands of the people I love and see how wonderful world is in all these colors.

Wow it's March already. :) Summer is coming, yaaaaaaaaay.

Well this was a long one :D

Bye bye :)